Thank you BoxinRotz. Yes, I suspect things will change. I decided this week to stop doing all the things for him that I have been - the things that fall outside of a "normal relationship". No more lying about why he isn't at family events, no more helping with his share of the bills, no more taking care of him when he's hung over. I will focus on myself and my children and on creating some semblance of a peaceful home.
One huge problem is that he owns a business and I work for him. I've been covering for him the whole time, working for him, doing his duties, etc. That has to stop. It's frustrating because every day that I go to work, he decides he doesn't have to because "I'm there and I can handle it". He stays home and nurses his hangover. The rare days when I've said no, I need a day at home, he asks his family to work for him (it's a family owned shop). I wish I could get his family to stop enabling him like that - he needs to be forced into his work responsibilities or fall on his face (whichever he chooses to do). In the meantime, I feel very taken advantage of every day. I've become very angry and resentful unfortunately.