Originally Posted by Croissant

No one has to take abuse from anyone, regardless of whether they are an alcoholic or not. Lots of sober people are mean and cruel also.

I'd say don't waste your time asking yourself why your alcoholic does the things they do and why can't they just give up alcohol. It would be good to consider what you can do for yourself without your addict/alcoholic....don't old back your own chance at happiness by making it dependant on what someone drunk or using, or not, says!