dont ever take it personaly...my partner deflects all his personal issues with himself onto me...its my fault he drinks, its my fault that he couldnt say no, its my fault he cant stand to be around me, if it werent for your ( "my" ) issues his life wouldnt be so "Hard"...... little do they realise, it isnt that "easy" or "fun" living with someone who is ruked by a substance to the point that my family is suffering.....honestly, if you are no longer with him, then please love yourself enough to not go back.......my partner is slowly starting to see how badly it effects him, he is getting help and I will "support" him during his struggles, triumphs, victories, set backs and all ( as long as I see him making the effort for himself)