The fact that your oldest won't speak to Mom should speak volumes to you. Damage is being done to your kids, whether you want to see it or not. You're description of a typical day in your house is tragic. Drinking interspersed with some chores, and avoiding some responsibilites in lieu of a drink.
I have to agree, I think you are looking for someone to agree that it's not that bad and just hang in there. If you are truly okay with this, if you are going to continue to make excuses for her behaviors (young kids yell and fight...stressful...drink), then that's your decision. You can choose to stay just like you are. No one is going to make you do anything different. Prepare to deal with the consequences when your kids are adults and dealing with their own pain as a result of growing up in this household. Prepare to deal with the progression of this disease.
I hope, instead, you find AlAnon and have a true reality check with yourself for your kids sake. But that's your decision, just like it's your wife's decision to drink.