I love this thread..My ex's favorite nightime activity was getting wasted and writing me a bunch of really mean text messages. He called me a phoney too! And a coward, a person with no hope of ever being happy, and on and on. I don't think I am either a phoney or a coward, and I knew at the time he was projecting, but I agree with Zen, the hurtful messages really start to take a toll after a while.
It wasn't that I believed what he was saying about me, it was the sole fact he was saying it in the first place that was so destructive to my self esteem. And the reason for this was because I was letting him do it! I was repeatedly exposing myself to his toxic behavior and didn't care enough about myself to remove myself from the relationship. So really it wasn't HIS behavior, it was MINE that destroyed my self esteem. It was the message I was sending myself that it was okay to allow someone to treat me that way. ( I just figured that all out while writing this.)
Sorry to go OT. To answer the original question, I do not think alcoholics tell the truth when they are drunk. I don't think they ever tell the truth. All the things my ex used to say to me were really about him. He is the coward who won't fight his disease. He is the phoney whose entire life is a lie about his drinking, and he is the one who will never be happy as long as he is drinking.