Originally Posted by Lewis73

Some great advice above....heres the problem....she is maybe not as bad as I think? I know this sounds like its ME in denial! But let me describe a day to you and you tell me if this is someone I should try and get out the house....

She will get up at 6.30am (with a head ache!) and get the kids school lunch ready
She'll get them to school (10 min walk away) - I do it when I can but often have left the house by then for work.
She'll come home....now, from 10am until she gets them at 3pm anything can happen. She may have a good day and do cleaning/DIY non-stop, may meet friends...or may just crash in bed. She will probably drink if she doesnt have to drive later that day...but wont get very drunk.

3pm she gets the kids and from then until 8pm ish is busy with getting dinner. If she has to drive them somewhere she wont have drunk....but she avoids doing that (i take them places almost daily for sports, etc) because while she is getting dinner (which is stressfull with young kids yelling and fighting) she start sneaking off to her bedroom for a few cans.

By 8 or 9pm the kids are bed, we are both home and she'll have had 4/5 cans....if I'm nice and happy she will be as well (although I can tell she is clearly "altered" - oddly, friends dont even notice she is drunk) She will often cook dinner and sit and chat....all happy families while she sneaks in another 4 cans or so. We'll go to bed, she'll pass out pretty quick and spend all night snoring and smelling off booze.

If I mention the drink...we will fight, she'll say she is fine/its her choice/she could stop but doenst want to and then, in a mood, she'll drink more!

So you see (i hope) the problem.....if I shut up everything is almsot ok...the kids arent daft, they see the empties in the bin every day and the 13 year old will mutter "drink" when he gets shouted at for doing something minor.........but its not like she drink drives, she only vomits everywhere after getting REALLY wasted on nights out (once a month I suppose) - In the last 8 weeks she went clubbing with friends and fell over (huge bruise) and we had the holiday vomit issue......so in her mind, its no big deal. (well..it is, otherwise she wouldnt have spent £££££ on home detox, wouldnt have a bedroom carpet still stained by sick, her 17 year old daughter would still talk to her, etc, etc - its just amazing how the drunk mind tricks itself.....she has recently got annoyed at ME for getting her help with detox as she views it as a waste of money as she now sees she could have stopped herself but just doenst want to! Twisted reality!!!)

I really don't know what to do...I wish she was drink driving so I could have something to go at her about.