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Old 09-20-2013, 05:24 AM
  # 46 (permalink)  
DragynLady
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 74
Just this week, I stood on the line, and told him that he crossed it, and it was time to go.

I love my husband very deeply, and like you, I didn't want to abandon him when he needed me most.

The thing is, he doesn't need *me* at all! He thinks he does, but I can't help him. I don't have the tools nor the experience. They have a saying in AA: Only an addict can help an addict. And that's true. You'll find that most counselors in treatment centers are former addicts themselves. They know what it's like, and they can't be bullshitted.

So I asked my husband to leave (in our situation, this was the best choice; and he didn't argue. Your situation may require you leaving, I don't know enough details to say.) Being here is enabling his drug abuse.

Why did I do this?

Because I have two little girls, and they can't grow up with abuse and drugs. Now, my husband isn't abusive (to anyone but himself) but he snorts things, and he gets drunk... that means that he's not safe around my children.

Remember that what you stay with today is what you're teaching your children it's okay to stay with tomorrow. Staying with an abusive man is teaching your son that THIS is how women are supposed to be treated.

Addiction is a communicable disease.

Inoculate your family. Save them. He won't get help until he's ready, and his recovery won't be aided by you letting him abuse you.

You are worth so much more.

Have you gone to Al Anon yet? The peace I've learned there has carried me through all of this.
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