Hi Lewis,
No. You did good to go back to the children.
I have four children, too. Same ages roughly: 16, 13, 10 and going on 7. Only I am the mom and Dad's the lunatic alcoholic, in our case.
First off, thank God you returned to the children. They need a parent that they can rely on 200%. You need to be really loving and really present in their lives. And living and breathing Al Anon. Do you go to meetings? Do the older children go to Al Ateen?
I actually completely get the housework bit. No one understands the full time job it already is to feed and clean up after four children! I can work four hours non stop on cleaning, cooking and laundry and just barely scratch the surface of what needs doing. People who don't have four children have no idea what it takes.
Having said that, I don't think the children should be living with their mom while she's actively drinking. It's not healthy for them. Or necessarily safe. How about an intervention, just in case there is any getting through to her?
What I did when Stbxah got out of control was to meet with both the children's pediatrician and then a family therapist who met individually with the children and I to help determine the best course of action. Let others help you puzzle this out.
My hope through all of this was that AH would get into recovery. We'd still divorce, but he'd be a better parent to the children, and a heck of a lot easier to deal with.
It hasn't worked out that way. I'm on my own in this. Though the support of friends helps, and so does this forum! Good news is, the children and our household is calmer, peaceful and predictable. Everyone is finding a new balance and a better way forward.
Except for AH. But that's his path. Not ours!