Oh Firesprite, how I can related.
I have been where Wavy has been, but I kind of feel stuck (for the last year) or so with what you are talking about.
Money stuff seems for me to be the surface layer of it....but it often how I realize I am in it.
I don't have any answers just to say you are not alone. Recovery for me recently has been odd. I stopped feeling "bad" a long time ago, but I so struggle to turn toward the joy, light, freedom and laughter. That is what I feel like I am working on right now.
Thanks for sharing.