Thread: New comer
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Old 09-19-2013, 08:04 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 2
New comer

This is my first time posting to this sight. I have been married to my husband for 14 years, and we have three beautiful children. We were very young when we got married (I was 19 he was 21). He has struggled with various drugs and alcohol addiction for as long as I can remember. I was naive in thinking that I could change him. Recently he lost his job, his parents threatened to "be done with him". I had also told him that I was not happy and wanted to divorce. He did agree to go to inpatient treatment. I am co dependent, and have been doing research and a lot of reading on the topic. I feel that I have spend so many years worrying about his drinking and drug use, and trying to control it that I have forgotten who "I" am. I recently read an article that said that many co dependents struggle to identify their own dreams. This really made me stop and think about myself. I know what "he" wants, but not what I want. I am really struggling with the decision whether or not to move out while he is in treatment. I have an unrealistic hope that treatment is going to be a "magic wand" and he will be the man I feel in love with again, but I know that is not true. I wonder if it would be best to live apart for awhile while working on ourselves. I'm not "giving up" (as he put it) on our marriage, but I feel that to be the best couple, we first have to be the best individuals we can be.
I guess I'm looking for any help or suggestions anyone can give me. Is my thinking completely wrong??
carrie0731 is offline