I am haunted by him whispering to me, years ago, in bed, drunk, "Please, save me. Help me, love." My guilt is overwhelming. I could not save him.
you DID try to HELP him. but like a drowning person, he didn't REACH for the life preserver you threw to him, he complained about the color. the help YOU offered wasn't the help he "wanted" - the kind of help that makes it ok to keep drinking. there IS NO help for that.
I am so sorry. he knows you care. he carries that with him. you don't HAVE to do anything more. the solution is so damn simple. decide you've had enough and then get a support system of like minded individuals that can tech you how to do that. simple, but not easy.
your life has to be about YOU. and moving forward.