Amen, TG! It was scary at first for me to accept my own power--to realize that I had a choice, that I was not just a spectator in my own life. Accepting the power to set boundaries (and to detach and go no contact with my axbf) not only set me free from the painful mess that was our relationship, but also from all kinds of ways I was letting myself be pushed around in other areas of my life. Friendship, school, work, family, you name it. I have boundaries now. And I am also more respectful of the boundaries of others as a result It's a win-win. Thank you for your insightful post!