Look at what you HAVE accomplished for the moment, instead of what you haven't! You found the strength to work on you, to get out of an addictive relationship, to accept a new job. There were a 1000 reasons why you could have failed at any of those...but you didn't. So don't let fear stop you now.
I have let fear affect most of the decisions I made in my life up until this past year. I have regrets about opportunities I let slide, I know now I could have accomplished what I wanted to. Tuffgirl is dead on the money.....fear is only an emotion. I heard someone in an AlAnon meeting say that he finally realized his happiness was waiting for him on the other side of his fears. I never forgot that. The only way to get to where you want to be is to push through the fear....there is no way around it.
Do you exercise? Getting out for a good walk or hike will release endorphins that will help calm you. Make that daily list, be realistic about what you can get done in a day. Then DO what is on the list, don't procrastinate.
My counselor had me make a "worry" box and a "God" box when I was feeling overwhelmed. When I had a fear or a problem, I would ask myself "is this something I can solve today?" If not I would write it on a 3X5, date it, and put it in the worry box. Each week I would look at the cards from that week. If I still didn't have a solution, I would put it in the God box and give it to my HP. Took practice, but it helped me start to move forward.
In 5 years, you'll be 5 years older whether you finish school or not. Don't look back with regrets. There's a whole world full of people on this site, and in your AlAnon meetings, who are rooting for you. We can't wait to celebrate you finishing your PhD!!!
