That was very well written and made me numb. I've gone through detox in other areas I'm sure I can detox this out. I'm miserable. Always walking on eggs shells always waiting for the next blow out that comes faithfully. The moments when we should be happy are spent pissed and hurt by the words he chooses to say then doesn't remember or says they were taken out of context. those words should never be uttered in the same thought as my name. Yet I go back. Each And every time I get the chance. We don't speak for days after a fight and he knows it kills me. so when he does say something, like a fool, I'm right back to square one. Bending so we can move on. I always give in and I always stay quiet because if I dare mention the terrorizing things he said then it all starts over again. but I'm the scum. I'm the one who ruined us. I'm the most disgusting person on the planet and unworthy of his love....