Old 09-17-2013, 06:24 AM
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Biancafp
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Porto Alegre
Posts: 18
Opening the can of worms - is it worth it?

I’ve been reading a lot of stories around here, and learning tons.

My question is: is it really worth it opening the can of worms?

What motivates me to ask such question is that, after reading the 13 characteristics of children of alcoholics and many posts around here, I think most people would identity with the traits listed there, even though I am pretty much what the list describes and identify with the horror stories I’ve been reading here. Historical and cultural aspects weigh in too. What we see as dysfunctional today might have been just what “normal” was a few decades ago.
I know the scars would still be there, and I’m not denying them. But these labels (“adult children of alcoholics”, for instance) and therapeutic approaches (“inner child healing”) put me off.
Is it really necessary to open the Pandora box to change or adjust the behavioral consequences of a bad childhood? It’s an honest question, I’m not being sarcastic about it nor anything like that. I’m going back to therapy this week and I’m reluctant to dive into these so called traumas and just end up using them as an excuse for my shortcomings, as much as I see alcoholics use the disease card all the time (the “I have a disease!” thing).

Just a little background: my father was an alcoholic and suffered from a somewhat extreme case of bipolar disorder (misdiagnosed as schizophrenic because he had severe psychotic episodes). My mother got a divorce when I was 5 and my sister was 9. We lived with my grandparents for 3 years, and my grandmother for some reason did not like me and life was hell. My mother was absent, emotionally. My father died 10 years ago of a heart attack, but he had been stable for some time before dying (5 years or so). My sister, who is 45 now, is an end stage alcoholic and won’t live much longer.

Thank you
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