I agree with honeypig. My XABF gave me a lovely, moving speech about how he'd 'changed' and didn't want the partying life anymore, and he wanted to prove himself to me. I believed him, and his 'changed' self lasted about 3 weeks. He then began getting wasted, mean, ditching me bc he was passed out, and getting in a bar fight. Not once did he acknowledge my feelings or the fact that he'd JUST told me he wasn't interested in getting drunk anymore. Even without me saying anything about the drinking, he became instantly defensive, and used denial and deflection to make ME question myself. I suddenly became the most 'too serious' and 'judgemental' person on earth in his eyes, just because he sensed my disapproval. This left me feeling crazy, hurt, etc.
So, yes, definitely read the stories on this forum and you'll see the pattern of A's and their behavior towards those who are in relationships with them. Did my XA intentionally lie to me about being 'changed'? Personally, I don't think he lied intentionally. This is where his denial about his addiction comes into play. From what I've read and experienced, A's often think they can 'control' their drinking, it doesn't impact their lives that much, it isn't a 'big deal,' etc. But those on the outside of their addiction (aka. you and me) are left blindsided and hurt. We can see the gigantic elephant in the room, but our XA's don't/can't.