Anxiety isn't directly comparable to the amount or type of issues we have or don't have. Not at all. I support people at work now who have major problems with anxiety and who on the surface have lives which are comparatively straightforward. That doesn't mean their problems with low self-esteem and under-confidence aren't real. I mean, if people looked at my life...I have a good and stable family life, house, career...etc etc they could be forgiven for thinking that I should be in a better place mentally than I am. None of us know what lies beneath the surface except us. Comparisons aren't helpful because they can lead to us beating ourselves up...'what's up with me, I should be able to do this, I'm rubbish' etc. I've done that for a long time. But time to stop doing that.
Accepting ourselves for who we are and being gentle on ourselves is a start. You are working hard on your recovery Hypo. Yeah, you get angry and anxious, you recognise that. It's ok. This second year of sobriety is just the right time to look at those things and move forward slowly. No rush though because I think you're just lovely the way you are anyway xxx
I'm up at 5, and leave at 6.30, and have a 15-20 min meditaion. Buts nearly 7 o'clock today and I'm still here...eek! Still, never mind, I will still be the first one in probably!!