Welcome SanDog! It's so great to have you join us - you're going to benefit by being among people who care and understand.
Bad and dangerous things happened to me when I drank too - but in my 30's I still had many years to go before acknowledging it. I was determined to 'control' my drinking so I wouldn't have to let go of the 'fun' times. I refused to admit the fun was over long ago - and all it was bringing me was misery. I ended up drinking 24/7, with a life in ruins. This will not be you SanDog.
Glad to have you here!