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Old 09-15-2013, 08:36 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
TheGirlisTrying
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 48
The first time I went no contact with my ex meth addict, I jumped into another relationship. That helped me to feel good feelings again but was wrong because I was no where near being able to contribute in a healthy way to another person. I wasn't truly done with my ex either.
Of course, the ex came crawling back, having lost everything in his world-job, apartment, dignity- and I picked up the pieces. That lasted for 3 months but the first bump in the road came in his life and he was back to using. So I kicked him out. He would lose a job again, clean up again, I would rescue, repeat, repeat.
Eventually, I lost my taste for it and for him. He became really mean on some of his sober trips. I put myself back in the situation so many times to where I just plain lost interest in all of it. Don't get me wrong, I have urges to know if he is okay and I get lonely and depressed sometimes. But I have finally realized that every time I reach out to check in, I'm asking for the cycle to repeat. It happens every time.
For me, I just got to the point where I wasn't angry, more thankful that he wasn't around and I had to accept that whatever was going to happen with him was just going to happen.
Acknowledging your own powerlessness and accepting a certain powerlessness from your addicted partner means that you let go of all the negative emotions-the anger, the worry, the will to fight it, and all expectations. That's when you can be done. Lots of people talk about letting go and it being different from giving up. You can still hope for the best for your ex partner from a distance. And that is likely exactly the place you need to be.
Take care of yourself.
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