it won't just GO away like magic...it takes time. the best you can do, IMO, is to go back over this relationship much akin to a mini-4th step....what happened, and how YOU acted and reacted. what prompted you to start up with him to begin? why did you think YOU could fix him? why did you stay when it going south? there are valuable lessons to be uncovered, for you. then you'll know more about how you tick, and what shortcomings you may need to work on (rescuer? martyr? low self esteem?). these becomes keys to unlocking your best future.
it's ok to angry about it! beat the pillow with a stick angry. you've been thru a lot. stay no contact. NO contact. release him. release you!