I'm having a little trouble comprehending your James Joycean prose. But from what I can gather you relapsed and used Adderall after a few days of attempted sobriety.
I'm afraid I'm unable to match your weighty literary style, but I can say it appears you need to decide what approach you want to take to getting sober and what approach you will take to maintain your sobriety.
Simply put, do you have a plan? Are you considering rehab? Have you considered NA? Have you talked with your doctor? I believe a visit to your primary care physician would be a good first step.