abm1990

Merely just days following The exceedingly prideful, narcissistically pedantic aboveboard descriptive post telling my story ascribing how this addiction auto-piloted me directly into the turbulence we experience as addicts. The sweet serene segue accompanying the fancy "Faux Pas" from Full, found and fixed to the familiar fiendish forever ****** up cadaverous coward unable to operate without a quick fix. The simple daily duties now exacerbated, another additive to sum up the painstaking arduous lifestyle I lived as a result amphetamine Addiction (Adderall).

I for whatever reason succumbed into this vindictive vice once again. All of the progress I had made now just pointless. At the speed of light I fall from Peak to Pitfall and tally up this colossal loss. Consequentially what was now for nothing- The Exponential high price I had paid, those torturous weeks of a pitiful persons suffrage, All that pain, physically and mentally I experienced withdrawing from months of dependency clearly couldn't suffice my desire to expunge this motivational mint finally for good!

God I feel so foolish, I was triggered by the very person whom orchestrated the whole rehabilitation process to structure this new and improved "me." I have let myself down, I've let my loved ones down and whomever else effected by this addiction just as many expected, I have let them all down. I'm sitting here peaking as I confess- What have I done! I promised, I swore to my supporters that I was done with ALL realms of Psychostimulants, faced with one arduous night and I'm looking at man embarked on a dark winding road, such a sudden change of course for the worse. I've allowed my mind's mind to convince the mended man it was harmless, just once is fine. Now in a flash ameliorated myself and costly right back where I began.

The contrived cultivation concocted to become a substance with the sheer strength of a Prodigious Man with tremendous masculinity, flawlessly consistent. The forcefulness extrinsically and intrinsically to render powerless a foolish mans effort to subdue the addict within. I feel helpless, hopeless here falling further from finding fixation. The very self that became my salvation just proved itself purposeless, pointless and superfluously incapable of being a sensible man, instead conveying my sickening vulnerability with such vividly devastating results. All of this for what..? Temporary time taken to Eutopia, only to waken in the land of the lotus eaters unable to leave, just left to sit here and rot away in the wrath of this warm Fireball known as a Southern Summer Sun. Only able to blame myself for all of whats transpired, still I cant seem to conquer something so pointless post-pleasure.

The Amphetamine Stream has my raft capsizing in its unforgiving rapids! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME!