Originally Posted by
Lily1918 
Sure you know what addiction feels like.
Hold your breath. As long as you can. Maybe in the pool, or bathtub. Then, in a shorth time, when you start to panic for air, you will do anything. ANYTHING. to breathe.
That is a craving.
Treatment teaches us how to live the rest of our lives without breathing.
The only difference between the experiment for a non addicted person and an addict is that if and when you breathe, you will live. Keep breathing. Keep living. We breath, and we die.
I know it seems extreme, maybe its just cuz I havent figured it out yet and I am still in treatment (outpatient) but that is what it is like for me.
Dragons really are beautiful creatures. In pictures. You just cant keep one as a pet. You cant keep someone in your life who is chasing one.
The Dragon burns everything that gets close to it. Either that, or it eats them alive.
Hugs. Im sorry that the dragon has burned you.
Those are good comparisons Lily. (OT: Im glad your in treatment. I think about you and D and all you have shared here, keep going !)
BlueChair,
I agree with the others, you cant blame yourself for not finding the drugs in the house. The will to not use has to come from him, no matter how much you want to you cant protect him, he will always have the opportunity to get drugs if he wants them. When my husband was in rehab, there was a time when his friend from work (drug dealer to him) came by the house to drop off something that belonged to my husband. I told him he was in rehab, and to please leave him alone and to not try to get him to buy drugs from him. He told me that no one was forcing him, and no one was going to come chasing after him trying to get him back in the group. He was right. I couldn't blame him or anyone else, it was my husband that had to make the choices. He still works for the same company as that guy, and others who he used with. He could get back in anytime he wanted to, he just doesn't want to. Hopefully this relapse will be a tool for him to learn more about his addiction and his recovery. He is still in treatment, and he could have not went back, or left when he threatened to. He made the choice to stay, so that says a lot.