I hope that this is the right place to start this discussion.
My first time round here on SR I tried hard to stay sober and then I relented, drank a glass which soon turned back into a bottle a night (and the rest when it was available to me). I'll spare you the story, I'm sure it's a familiar one even if the fine detail differs
Anyway. When I first gave up smoking 3 years ago I had read Allen Carr's book and I'll be honest, first time round I sort of gave up and then I did the old, "I'll just have one, it won't hurt" and obviously it did hurt and I was back to smoking. I told myself that it was justified as my relationship was breaking down.....children involved.....no money......blah blah blah. I made excuses for myself. I moved out and decided that I really did want to stop smoking. I didn't re-read the book but I did recall the basic idea - you're not "giving something up", you're stopping doing something that is harmful. There were times when I wanted a cigarette but I did not give in. In my mind I saw myself as a non-smoker. I didn't want smelly breath and yellow teeth and black lungs. And now? Two years on I feel like I was never a smoker and i can't bear to smell it on other people, hate the smell of a cigarette in the street.
When I signed up here in March I was committed to giving up drinking, but not quite enough. So after a month I stopped coming here and I started drinking again. This time around I am committed and I read the RR/AVRT website and have ordered the RR book. I LOVE the responsibility that this method affords me. I choose not to drink, and I will never change my mind. It's so simple. If I start to think about it, to rationalise how I might be able to worm my way out of this deal, how I could say to myself, "yes, but.....I'm so stressed......I'm so lonely.......as a single parent who does everything.......as a single woman with no partner.....as someone who needs a better job and more money.......as someone who......." "I can't help it, I have to."
See even as I write this my AV is offering me ways out.....but I won't. I will take this simple solution and apply it to my life and my life is already better for it.