EM,
yes, there are other ways.
they also tell me that those who don't go to meetings everyday will drink.
.....and i'm scared that i'm going to end up saying eff it and go back out
i pulled those two sentences out of your posts because of the fear. and how the message that those who don't go to meetings every day will drink feeds right into that.
meetings aren't what AA is supposed to be about, ultimately; the steps are.
plenty of people stay sober without daily meetings, plenty others keep drinking or go back to drinking while going to daily meetings.
i got sober in Lifering (
The LifeRing Home Page | Sobriety, Secularity, Self-Help) almost seven years ago, and was lucky that there was ONE LR meeting in my area (Pacific NW). it was great to have that, but my main "tool" was their forum, where i did connect daily with others. still do.
life has been such that i have no problems with not drinking, but i'm looking at AA to see how it might help me, since i think it could. with the rest of it.
go figure.
in any case, that's my story and i'm telling it to just demonstrate ONE OTHER way.
about the fear of going back out, back to drinking...not sure if it's the same as the "****-it switch". it helps me to know it's possible. all i have to do is read on SR or LR for ten minutes and will find someone who's gone "back there" even after many years. so yeah, it's a possibility.
but i don't live my sober life based on fear of going back there. fear isn't a good basis for sobriety. it would keep one in chains, really.
being and staying sober needs...well, a sober life that's satisfying, for one. that has some meaning. tucking in one's kids...yes, that's meaning. tucking them in without liquor in your breath. being grateful you can.
i found it a positive to have a face-to-face meeting once a week....maybe you have SMART meetings close by you could check out? or, if you think the steps will be a good way to go, maybe scale back the amount of meetings and keep doing the steps. check out other organizations on the internet.
anyway, this is just a mishmash of a post.