Had a really rough night last night. I couldn't sleep and around 2am that nasty little voice came to me, encouraging me to drink. Every excuse imaginable went through my head, it's only one drink, you don't have to drink 2 bottles of wine, just have a glass go on, you're not an alcoholic, you just like a drink and it tastes great etc.
Obviously I have no alcohol in the house and as it was 2am I couldn't go and buy any so I just had to white knuckle it. The nasty little voice is dying down now, each time it speaks up I shout at it, well inside my head I mean and it seems to back off for a bit before coming back at some different angle lol.
But hey I'm still sober and I feel like I'm in control. I know many have this idea of seeing this little voice as a thing outside of themselves or separate but to me it's not possible to think of it that way. It's a part of me, just not a part I like.