Toomutch

I became a member of SR in 2007 and had great success here, stayed sober for over 5 years.

I have recently separated from my husband, and in the process of divorce. This actually a very good thing, no looking back on my part. I have been with my new boyfriend for almost 1 year, he moved here to Colorado from Florida after meeting on fb. My husband had been seeing 2 young women for over a year by then and wanted to stay married and live in an open relationship. I decided I couldn't do that and moved on.

I don't know if it was all this stress that made me pick back up 4 months ago or not. My thought process behind it was "it's been 5 years, I can handle it now".

I have turned into a nasty drunk and when I'm drunk I am so mean to my boyfriend that treats me like gold and who I love very much. A couple of days ago he came home to me after I had drank one of those BIG bottles of wine on my own in 3 hours, I almost lost him because of it. I don't remember a thing but I hurt him very badly with the things I was saying and was even hitting him. That's when I knew what an idiot I was for ever picking up again. I have to stop because I don't want to lose or hurt him or myself.

He seems to think I'm taking it to extremes and reminds me how sometimes I can go out and have 1 glass of wine and be good with that. Little does he know I have had vodka stashed and have been drinking out of it every day.

I really need some help and this is where I found it before, I can't go on like this.