I like BuffaloGal's response. Alcoholics ARE capable of "feeling love" but they are woefully incapable of the "doing love" thing. And I'm sure in his own way, your ex DOES "love" his kids--but his priorities are all screwed up. Your ex is abusive, too, and he treats his kids like property, not like people with feelings.
I think you did fine. It's confusing for them, and for us.
Hugs,