I'm getting alot of help hear. Thank you. The al-anon board has some women going thro' similar situations, at least the relationship part, I learned a new term today which is quacking, it struck me as terribly, sadly funny. I laughed and cried at the same time. But at the very least it put a perspective on the verbiage. Cause, of course, I want the things I don't want to hear to be quacks and the ones I like to be real.