Go back Liz. Go back to that football stadium or wherever you were supposed to have that graduation ceremony. Go back by yourself. Get one of those grad hats first if you can.
Stand out in that football field all by yourself. Throw that hat up in the air, and scream "Congrats to me!"
Laugh as you do it.
(And if you positively can't go back for whatever reason--go back in your mind.)
When you can do that, and not a minute before, you will finally see that life isn't about if you can depend on somebody else to be...pick your words...consistent, reliable, dependable, there for me, my rock of Gibraltar, not to fool me, be loyal, be honest, be true....pick your words.
Because nobody out there is going to come through for you every time, or even most of the time. Life is about survival of ourselves, our being, our essence. Life's full of unknowns, and curve balls. Those curve balls are never going to stop coming. If not from one person, or one place, there will be one from another person or place.
Hoping to be able to rely on somebody else for that sense of well-being isn't what life is about, isn't what your life is about. It would be short-changing YOURSELF FOR YOUR LIFE TO BE ABOUT SOMEBODY ELSE.
When you can see that, you will be then able to see what you want to do with your life. Because it's about you. Each step will feel more sure.
This is YOUR life.
Learn to celebrate yourself.
You deserve those congrats...I hope you finally give them to yourself.