Welcome to SR, wtrsnas, and glad you found your way here. As you said, living with an active A is absolutely draining, mentally, physically and emotionally. There's a lot of experience, strength and hope here. I hope you find it helpful.
The first recommendation I'd make for you would be to check out Alanon. Here's a link to help you find a meeting.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Everyone there has been where you are and will make you feel right at home. SR is a wonderful place, but it's good to have some real-life support also--if you need a couch to sleep on, we at SR can't help much but your Alanon friends can!
The other thing you'd find helpful is to do as much reading here (and elsewhere) about alcoholism. Educating yourself will go far in helping you understand what's happening and what choices you have. There are stickied threads at the top of this page that contain a lot of useful info; here's one you might want to read first of all
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html
Again, welcome, and I hope you find both strength and clarity in the coming days!