It's not harsh. It's exactly how we go about setting boundaries and detaching. You love him, but you can't go down with the ship. It's perfectly ok for you to feel the way you do. I still remember my therapist's reaction when he read my open letter to my mother. It was angry and raw, and painfully honest. He told me to use that energy to fuel the change within myself, to take all of that and turn it into nothing but positive, nurturing, self-love. That was the first time I ever really accepted myself for who I am.