Hi Shayda,
Our situations are so similar it's almost bizarre. If I didn't know how common this scenario is, I would think I was in the Twilight Zone.
I ended things with my ABF almost two weeks ago, and he's in similar shape to yours. I have not seen him in one month. Mine has childhood issues, too, especially around abandonment. And he's trying to tell me he can't live without me- almost word for word what you have going on.
Like you, I am allowing contact. It's only texting, and a couple phone calls, and ONLY when he's sober. I end/ignore all the rest. I feel stable and detached, my life is full and vibrant. I am present and accounted for in my work, with my daughters, with friends, creatively.
I have been told his only chance is if I go no contact (hitting bottom for him). But it seriously does not feel... humane. I've been told I have a "savior complex", that I am limiting myself, that I need to let go entirely; for his sake and mine. But. I am still not sure.
Just wanted you to know, if you don't already, that you are understood here. And I hope you continue to find all the support you need for you, to make sure your life is as full as it can be. Whether or not our loved ones do the same for themselves is entirely up to them.
SQ