ACOAHappyNow--I applaud you for making those lists...you told yourself the truth. I may sound strong in my post, but still thinking of 'trying again' with AM...even though I know that it won't work. The feelings are so hard. However, after having spent so many years as a 'weepy codependent mess' and AM getting mean and rejecting...I, like you, had to acknowledge that there was more bad than good...and it affected my immediate family too. I hate alcoholism.