I am so sorry you are going through this. Sending peace and love for you. It is so hard when our addicts don't listen (& they never do)--out of contact with AM for this reason...she just had to pretend everything was perfect...and project all her 'stuff' on either my sister or me...when Dad died...I was the one that lost the game of musical chairs. It is very sad, but I know that I didn't cause it, can't cure it or control it. I am so grateful to be alive and living life apart from all that misery. I took a lifetime to go no-contact, but in the 6 mos since I did...life is SO much better...and your life is going to be ok. Just let him know you love him and know that you do. That is all you can do.
Gentle, gentle huggs.