Oh, Florence, you are having a 'down day". Anniversaries are notorious for triggering these. I can certainly understand why, though--given your circumstances.
This is still relatively new--of course, you are still going through the grieving process.
Just because it is like this today doesn't mean it will be like this forever. Circumstances don't remain static. It is not going to always be like this.
Can you think of anything to do that might change the mood for you and the kids? something to salvage the rest of the day? Reclaim some hapiness---don't let the b*****ds steal your laughter!
dandylion