Good morning everyone
Day 31 here, and I have mostly only been posting on the July class thread during this stretch of sobriety but I have something I wanted to share to see if anyone has any insight.
As I mentioned, this is not my first attempt at sobriety by any means, but hopefully my last. During the last two weeks or so, I have been experiencing a huge inability to focus and irritability. At work and at home, I have so many things to be done but can barely accomplish a task completely, never know where to begin, etc.. I can cry at any given moment and fly off the handle at the smallest things. Also, I am noticing that I am going through what seem to me to be like OCD stuff (on a very small scale). Certain things have to be "just so"- I have to use the right pen, the lights have to be at a certain brightness, things have to go EXACTLY according to plan or I freak out. Those are just examples. I know that I am isolating myself, I have little or no interest to be with anyone besides my own children, and even they know when I need to be left alone. My mother, who knows nothing about my quitting drinking, seems to think it's depression. I have had depression before but always attributed it to alcohol, so now I'm just stumped. I'm trying to take it easy on myself, but I feel so stuck and frustrated. I have had up to 2 months of sobriety and varying other times in between but I have never experienced anything like this. If anything, I was always on top of my game when I was sober. Now I feel almost like I'm drinking and hungover again in certain aspects. In fact, sometimes I wake up the next day and think of my behavior the night before and really have to remind myself that I didn't drink. Any idea what this could be, what to do??
I do LOVE being sober and am enjoying so many of the benefits. My cravings have diminished somewhat as well, thankfully. But now that I feel a little bit less in the chains of alcohol, now I feel restricted by some of this other stuff in my head. Feeling like I'm going crazy or something !