I am struggling with my older sister at the moment which is ironic as she is also in recovery and I have a younger sister who has extreme mental health problems so you'd think it was the younger one I'd have issues with, rather than the older one. I think I find it easier to accept that the younger one is sick and dysfunctional as she has an actual mental illness so when she's crazy I can just say and believe she's crazy so don't take it personally.
The older one is a totally different kettle of fish and just typing this now I can see I probably have the expectation that because she is in recovery she should 'be well'. The problem I have with her centre's around the fact I have been in OA for nearly 2 years and for once in my adult life am a normal weight and have developed the ability to eat sanely.
According to her I am too thin and don't eat enough and she has no problems telling me this whenever I see her or dishing out parenting advice regarding how I should be with my teenage daughter whose recently moved out of home despite the fact she has no children of her own.
When I don't buy into her invites for discussion she then wants to discuss the lives of other family members or friends with me and what they're doing wrong. The whole thing is very bizarre and sort of reminds me of another time in my life when I went to SLAA and changed a lot as she was unhappy with choices I made.
A few years ago she tried OA herself and hated it so her reactions could just be a defence thing so she doesn't have to look at her own relationship with food but then again, it may not. I really have no idea why she is reacting the way she is as I am not in her head.
Overeating seems to run in my family as well as alcoholism. And while the substance is different the cycle of dysfunction is exactly the same. I.e denial, blame, dishonesty, secretiveness, rage etc..