I'm not suggesting anyone here should go to AA unless they truly want to. I was mainly posting to riky to give him my take on what white knuckling means to me. I did correct one poster on "white knuckling" being an AA term. They never use the term "white knuckling", and that specific term is what seems to offend some. AA's belief is that what makes us take the first drink/drug is a mental obsession, and if you do nothing but stop drinking/using the mental obsession is still there and you continue to struggle with urges. BTW that last quote is missing some text. Next time I suggest copying it from a reputable online source. I know this because the last part of the quote explained exactly how I felt near the end of my drinking (and that part of the quote is the part missing text).