I remember feeling like such a failure. I wanted so badly to *make* my marriage work. And, once he quit drinking, everything would be fine, right? Only it wasn't. I think the real problem was by the time he got sober, I had changed too much. He was still very much the same person I married 20 years before, but I was completely different.
It's okay not to accept an unkind, inconsiderate partner. Just because you chose him many years ago does not mean you have to stick it out if it's not working. Sometimes one person grows and the other does not. You don't have to feel bad about growing.
L