Thanks DL for your encouragement and support.
I will seek an attorney. I must let go of another one of my illusions that RAH and I will work things out amicable and just have a lawyer review our documents. It doesn't happen in our marriage why I am expecting it to happen with a divorce.
This is what my RAH refers to as clueless and maybe he's right in some sense but to think all these years how someone can think of my nature of consideration and goodwill as clueless just makes me sick to my stomach.
Again I am so baffled as I am always expecting someone kind and considerate to show up in my RAH now that he is sober and it just is not there. I wouldn't have necessarily described him as kind and considerate when I first met him but he certainly wasn't unkind and inconsiderate.
I just have to get out some of the other cruel things he said to me. He tells me that I don't love my kids, I don't know how because my mother never loved me. I just make believe is what he tells me.
He's the one that puts on a show. Makes all the right moves when someone is watching but can't be bothered when it's just me and him.
It seems like the last few months of him putting on a show at the marriage counselors of working on our marriage while shutting out and dismissal was going on in between these sessions has really taken a toll on me.
Maybe this has nothing to do with being an A and with sobriety I am able to see my RAH true colors.
I can't believe I am not even sad any more about this, after all the years. At least he sought sobriety. Maybe it was just too late and too little for me.