Hi B&B. I remember you. I too haven't posted here in a very long time. Like you, the last time i would see my AXBF was April of this year. I did not realize until very recently how tore down my spirit really was. I am so thankful for being away from my X now. I haven't felt this level of serenity and calm since before I met him. I'm slowly getting back to normal.
My last few months have probably been a bit different being that someone very special very unexpectedly came into my life a few months ago. I was not looking for a relationship and truly did not want to be in one for a long time. I did not think I could possibly be ready. But this man is wonderful and I let him into my life. This past week we had a bit of a disagreement and we both got more upset than we should have becuase of wounds from both of our past relationships. I am saying all of this because I didn't realize how wounded I still am from the relationship with my XABF. This past week has brought back many painful memories because I don't think I had worked through it all. For me it comes in waves but the low times are fewer and farther between and I no longer feel as much anger. It's still very shocking to me that I stayed as long as I did.
I've really questioned this week whether or not I was ready to move into another relationship this soon. I am giving it a shot. This man seems wonderful. We are able to talk openly and calmly about our feelings, without someone running out and using drugs, lying, screaming, giving silent treatments, etc. We respect each other. We listen. He has a great head on his shoulders and I said to myself, I'm not going to let this one pass me up!
I still have a LOT of work to do on myself to heal. I'm happy to hear you are doing well.