Welcome, Roberooski.
Know that the choice is is your hands and you never have to feel this way again if you don't want to.
The anxiety and nausea will pass. Be kind to yourself during this time. Eat well, rest well. Try to do things that fill your time and fill your soul.
Make a plan for your recovery. Make plans for your new life, not chained to a bottle. Not hiding or lying or feeling hungover in the morning.
It gets easier. Just ride today. Tomorrow, ride tomorrow. Things will change.