I too was "blessed" with an "I can do anything, he's not going to steal MY joy" mindset, and then my therapist told me that when he wrote his book on Denial, that he was going to place my photo on the cover.
And when we finally separated, I continued to be high-functioning, but so, so exhausted. I didn't realize what I was putting myself through, and that living in combat conditions in a MARRIAGE, of all places, is not what was intended when we partner up with somebody.
It's been 4 years, I'm not over it.