When I was brand new to detaching, I did once say something to him like,"yeah...don't go confusing my silence for acceptance by the way..."
Or "don't confuse the fact that I'm not giving you a hard time for me thinking what you are doing is ok." Something along those lines, something to that effect.
I care so much less now, am so much more fed up now (you get tired of saying this and that...it got so old, I don't care enough to say anything, what is the point besides frustrating myself?), I don't feel as much need to directly address things. In fact I'm finding it pretty easy to leave the room or house when he wants to start, without a word.
In the beginning I did tell him that his drinking habits were not acceptable and would one day lead to me leaving. And I do get annoyed at him from time to time.
But it's getting easier and easier to just...let it go. He knows what I'm ok with and what I'm not ok with anyway. Why do I bother wasting my time telling him every time? If I catch myself now, I usually just say,"You know what? It doesn't even matter. Forget it." and shut that whole thing down lol.
I'm not perfect but I'm getting much better at it....because I see the futility of it, and I care less. The shift is happening where my peace matters more. I think it also has a lot to do with the fact that I now understand his bs and games and manipulative tactics, etc. I find that the more aware I am of what he's doing the less it gets to me.
One thing that used to drive me insane was the things he'd say to me that were so insanely ridiculous. Like an idiot, at first, I thought,"How can he think that?? I have to reason with him!" Now I think a much more realistic,"Here he goes again, trying hard to **** me off at any cost...yawn." For me that was one thing that used to drive me insane that no longer does. He's not being sincere, he's trying to upset me. He knows he's full of crap. That's just an example of how understanding what is truly going on has helped me to just not care so much.
Stay strong! I know! It's so stupid, isn't it? I mean what you overheard does sound like a rebellious teenager. By the way who the hell is he talking to that's on the other end like,"right on man! Drinking to the point of ruining a relationship is totally cool and reasonable!" Lol. I wonder if he was really talking to anyone.
Screw him. You rock, you are number one, take care of YOU.
Peace.