Originally Posted by
Jazzman 
I could divorce my wife and move on with my life. My ex MIL (who I still have a relationship with) misses her daughter terribly and my heart aches for her sometimes. As a parent myself I can't even begin to imagine her pain.
My ABF's mother and I have had many, agonizing conversations about his affliction. (We bonded in part because we are both mothers; though her "child" is 48 and drinking himself to death, and my children are lovely, healthy teenagers.)
As Jazzman implied, you can't divorce your child - a whole other type of letting go is called for. I am in awe of the folks on SR & in Alanon who are dealing with this - I don't know how they sleep at night.
My ABF's mother falls more into wishful thinking about his recovery efforts (she's out of state, and can believe what she wants) - but I totally understand it. I would too, if I could. In the last 6 months we have stopped communicating, out of a kind of mutual respect for each other's coping, and to not trigger each other's co-dependent tendencies. The loss of our relationship is just more collateral damage from the drinking.
I say, take her words as a gift to you, AlcoholicLove - she's trying to spare you the pain of what lies ahead if you stay with him. You are free, she is not. My best to you all.