I finally left 3 months ago for the third time. This time though I feel more confident in myself and it is easier even though AH this time is not nearly as bad as he had been. I heard so many times how he would cut back or quit. He would get rid of all the alcohol and not drink for a couple weeks {atleast not that I knew of}. It was always the same thing thing, nice for alittle then back to being an a**hole. I suffered from verbal and some physical abuse with our two children witnessing alot. But as he slowly started becoming less angry and not drinking as much, I started drifting farther and farther away. I knew deep down that he would always drink and always have anger and insecurity issues. My children were suffering and I was exhausted and miserable. So one day I decided I was done. My 11 yr old daughter is the one that keeps me going. She is suffering from the alcohol and even though AH knows this, he still chooses to drink. She tells me, "Mommy, daddy will only try to change till we go back, then it will go back to the way it was." That was a total eye opener for me. If she can see it, why can't I? I now have peace, less stress, can come home without worrying what kind of night it will be. If I don't wanna cook, then I don't. I just feel so more relaxed. I still have a long way to go but I am feeling better every day. Now AH right now is on the kick that his family is more important than drinking and he is quitting. Well good for him, heard that too many times. And even if it would happen, I really do not think I could go back. There has been too much damage done. He has been put on 3 or 4 diff physch meds and will always have some kind of issue. I want a better life than that especially for my kids. So hang in there, you will know when you are ready to be done. It may take time but you will get there. Take care