Lost
First post of my own here but having read a number of other threads in this part of the forum I feel confident enough to put it out there, share what I'm feeling and see what other FFA think. I can't go into too much detail as I know my partner is on this forum seeking support and guidance that is really helping the situation we find ourselves in.
My partner is relatively newly sober and is working hard at staying that way having sought all the help available and actively participating in a programme. All that has happened in the past is behind us as that is the only way to move forward. Transgressions have been forgiven (but cant' be forgotten yet) and I try to maintain a positive attitude to our future but it is becoming increasingly difficult.
My partner seems to have no desire to do anything, constantly complaining of being bored or boring, hardly ever leaving the house, making plans to be active or do jobs then never bothering preferring instead to lay in bed or surf the net.
I understand this is a long, painful process and one I need to be part of if we are to survive as a couple. However, I feel it's me doing all the work to keep us and our family and household functioning. The slow decline into alcoholism has taken a while with other long term factors helping to unravel what we had.
I try my very best to be as supportive, loving and understanding as I can. I value what we have more than life itself but sometimes get so desperate to have a 'normal' life. I know our life will never be that but is it too much to ask for the simple pleasures sharing your life with someone should bring ?
I spend so much time alone even though we are in the same house it breaks my heart that my once vibrant, funny, engaging partner seems so empty now. The person I fell in love with is still there and alcohol was not the influencing factor when we met so I do know the real person I've devoted my life to, I just want to see more of them and I'll wait as long as it takes. It doesn't stop me hurting, crying, feeling helpless to do anything about the situation but if I don't have hope then I really don't have anything else to cling to.
Thank you for reading, RTR