But I can't for the life of me figure out why? I want to let him know that I am moving out but I am scared! Why? Like every other CODIE, I am afraid I have not given him enough time to quit. Wrong.
I am afraid that I will regret my decision. After reading and re-reading on here, seems like everyone has that emotion so I am just trying to prepare myself for it.
I am afraid of what our friends and family will think.
I am afraid of what my children will think. Our youngest, 19, goes from hating him to thinking he walks on water. Is that typical?
MOST people love him and think that he is great and that he would do anything for me, dotes on me, head over heels for me, etc., etc.
And I guess for the MOST part, that is true except for the fact that most of that is an act for the friends, family etc.
I am planning on having "the" conversation tonight that I will not live this way anymore. It will not be an ultimatum because I know that will not work. And even IF he were to somehow stop the drinking, I am afraid that he would be one of the ones that recovers from alcohol and then realizes he doesn't love me anyway.
I now have 21 years invested and it terrifies me to put that out to the curb, but I don't want to look back another year from now and see that I am still here.
Any advice from anyone that has done this before. Anyone had a calm conversation that "hey, I am leaving you because even though I love you, I can't put up with the drinking, etc.
If so, pointers would be nice.
