Sometimes I ask myself "would I tolerate that treatment from a stranger on the street?"
I just left a job where my boss was disrespectful and verbally abusive. He screamed at me when I asked questions. And it took someone else to point out that he did NOT have the right to treat me that way just because I took a paycheck.
So I know it's easy to normalize bizarre, abusive tactics. Which is why you have us to point out that what you are accepting is ABUSE. Actual physical, sexual abuse. Your son is suffering and he knows - whether you believe it or not.
There may be good reasons for you not to dissolve this marriage that you can't post online, but I would be surprised if they surpassed your basic right to physical safety.